i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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