but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
