Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
