Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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