Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
