i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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