I wish you could order shots online.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
