yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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