the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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