I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
