Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
