walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
people are starting to question the shark bite story
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
