I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
