she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
