I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
