Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
