In the future we'll all be gay
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
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