Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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