I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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