i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
