Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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