If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
