i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
