I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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