Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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