shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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