Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Operation Purity has been aborted
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize