And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
