You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
