Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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