She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
