Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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