He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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