bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
