I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
