Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
