There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
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