Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
