You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize