this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
