i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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