Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
