its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
