When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize