My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
