May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
ttyl tear gas
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
