weddingsv make me drug and hornr
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
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