okay pat passed out under dana's car
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
