i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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