brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
