Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
