this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
