S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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