belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
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