yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
