I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize