nut hugger
we have officially lost it.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
