I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
