He asked to "fluff my boner.."
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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